I don't know if Florida is for me. I don't know if I have meshed into this place as well as I thought I would. I feel so alone here it's crazy. I'm by myself 90% of the time. I have made no new friends and can't seem to keep up with my old ones. Everybody has their own life going on and I just seem to be on the outside trying to get in. It's not a good feeling really. I've tired to try to make things work. Thinking time would make me feel better about where I was, but going to Tobago just made the point of me not fitting in here stand out more. I can't seem to be myself here. I feel stifled. I can't do what I want to do when I want do it. I can't even go to eat unless someone offers to take me. Like right now and I'm hungry. I always have to wait on other people to offer me a chance to do something. And that is so not me. I've been in turmoil about this for a while and I know me saying this now would probably cause some more turmoil but it's time for me to let things out. I don't know how much more of a stifled me I can take. I don't laugh in Florida. I don't have fun in Florida. Florida has resigned me to just doing what I have to do and that's not Renee.

So what's next? How can I be me in this world?

P.S I have taken my medication so my emotions are under control with this post!!