I'm truly frustrated. Have been experiencing inner turmoil for sometime now. And I think I have gotten to the point where I am about to explode. This morning I wrote about 3 pages of my frustration and I wasn't done yet. When I saw the length I realized that truly I wasn't happy with where or who I was at this point in my life. Why? I think because I made the mistake in leaving some aspects of my life in the hands of some people who probably didn't care too much about my outcome.

This has not been the first time. A few years ago I got to a point of frustration where I decided that enough is enough. I took the decision to get rid of all the people and things that were not making me be the best person I could. I stopped trying to fix petty problems with a girlfriend who continuously found fault with things I did that involved other people. eventually I figured that she was jealous of me having other friends. I decided to stop loving my then boyfriend who was a bit more concerned with his life and his friends than our relationship. I decided then that I needed to find something to make me happy and so the search was on for a better me. But getting to this stage then was not an easy one. I was tossed and turned and thrown and abused. At times I even succumbed to the abuse. Spent nights crying myself to bed. Became less trusting of people around me.

Now I'm back at that old point. Some situations new, some old. Some people old, some new. And I'm ready to cleanse again. I need to. And so my frustration lies. But don't worry I'm taking stock. Everything will be aired!!