Yunno that new song by Beyonce that makes single sisters want to shout out the hook line "If you like it then you should have put a ring on it"? Here's the better version:
for the simple fact that I don't get to do anything I would like to do. Steups. Yunno how long I want to go take a drive down to south beach. In fact I was giving the sweet talk that I was gonna get that opportunity when I returned in July but as usual Penze does get push in the back corner.
What I really hate about it is that things are going on that I would like to do. Not even partying. Miami fashion week was last week and I would have loved to be down there. But, who I was going with and how was I going? Steups. I dunno how I'm suppose to just sit here and watch everyone aound me do their thing and I suppose to be happy about it.
My time soon come though. Somebody will wanna do things with me SOON!! :-)
My time soon come though. Somebody will wanna do things with me SOON!! :-)
I am so disappointed in myself tonight it's not funny. I ended back up in a place tonight I promised myself a few months ago that I will never go back. I know how I ended back there tonight and I'm upset that I let it go there. I tried really hard to let it ease by, but I have this stupid gene that thinks I can talk things through with people and they would actually listen to what I'm saying and try to understand.
I know that it was heading into this from early. A few months back I decided to hold my emotions. It surely doesn't make sense to me to get upset about things anymore. When it came down to the long run, the only person that was upset and bothered was me. Everyone else carried on with their joyful lives as usual while I was there sitting sad and worried about how everyone else was feeling. I also decided to just adjust to things. Whatever people throw at me I'll switch to suit. If they want to throw acid in my eye ok, they just better cover theirs. It has come down to a "If you can't beat them, join em". If people choose to treat me a certain way, I'm going to do the same. If you could do this then I can too. And this was working great for me.. until tonight.
I really tried to take it and continue, but you surely know that when something is not in your nature you can't really fake it. Im upset though and I hope this doesn't set me back into the ranges that I have been in for the past few months cause I can't go back there. I've worked too hard to get out of that funk to fall back into it so quickly. Where is 2009???
I really tried to take it and continue, but you surely know that when something is not in your nature you can't really fake it. Im upset though and I hope this doesn't set me back into the ranges that I have been in for the past few months cause I can't go back there. I've worked too hard to get out of that funk to fall back into it so quickly. Where is 2009???
So Miami Carnival was a few weeks ago. I am still recovering. You would swear that I partied every night for all six nights eh. Lol. I'm not that much of a fete person really for carnival. I like the fetes yes but my main thing, my excitement, the ultimate experience for me is PARADE. So my excitement was to get on the road on Sunday and have a time.
But things weren't looming bright for me or us as the days were getting closer. I played with Vibrationzz in Oshun. And up to Saturday night no oshun costume was out for distribution. Having some proper breasts, I was concerned about how my bra was going to fit and with this dilema concerned that I had no time to get reinforcements. We got our costumes on Sunday morning. Preshha. And it was down to some serious doctoring. I hate real plenty things on my costume. I am a naked girl. I don't like things to scratch me, tickle me, get in my way. NOTHING. So with scissors in hand we adjusted bra, belt, panty... lol. We proper became last minute seamstresses. After the doing up and stuff we headed down to Miami to Jam on the road. A few delays and we eventually got with our band to have a time. Words cannot describe. This was a much needed release. MUCH NEEDED.
A good time was had on the road and here are the pics to show it..
A good time was had on the road and here are the pics to show it..
I am so excited for December to get here. 2008 has been my Murphy Law year. What can go wrong has. It really has been some emotionally filled months to the highest level and I'm ready for it to be over with and heading into a hopefully better year of 2009. 2009 I have a loooot of plans that I want to accomplish or put into motion. 2008 has changed me a lot. I look at things much differently. My expectations have changed, my goals have adjusted. Who I am has changed a lot. And though negative things have had to be experienced for the changes, I'm glad for the changes. Don't get me wrong, who I am hasn't really changed. I refuse to change how I am just because it has prbably caused me some pain. I love how I am. But I have had to adjust how I am to some people to save my own sanity and survive. Some people just don't deserve the full me.
2008 has been a "show yuh colours" year. I've truly seen what people are really made up of. If someone offered me to do over 2008 to get somethings changed, I wouldn't do it though. I'm quite happy that I gained this knowledge about the people I can count on in my life, how they feel about me, and feel about other people. Lol.
So I have some more weeks of school before we get into December. And you can't tell how excited I am for that. How my blood rushes just thinking about it..lol. I pray everyday that '09 is an improvement for me with so many things. I honestly think that it can't get any worse emotionally and I pray it doesn't physically. But lord knows I'm ready for '09. Graduation and all and who knows where the wind is going to blow me after that. I hope it is to a happy place.
2008 has been a "show yuh colours" year. I've truly seen what people are really made up of. If someone offered me to do over 2008 to get somethings changed, I wouldn't do it though. I'm quite happy that I gained this knowledge about the people I can count on in my life, how they feel about me, and feel about other people. Lol.
So I have some more weeks of school before we get into December. And you can't tell how excited I am for that. How my blood rushes just thinking about it..lol. I pray everyday that '09 is an improvement for me with so many things. I honestly think that it can't get any worse emotionally and I pray it doesn't physically. But lord knows I'm ready for '09. Graduation and all and who knows where the wind is going to blow me after that. I hope it is to a happy place.
Hey, it's been some weeks. Since I left for my trip to Maryland, which was great by the way, and came back to Florida in the middle of Miami carnival hype and school I have not had the time nor energy to get here. But finally I can.
Maryland was gorgeous, in the day. lol After 7pm I was in the house. If you don't know me you don't know that I abhor cold. I'm the girl in the mall in a jacket because it's too cold. I'm the one asking to turn down the AC in the car because I'm freezing. So you can imagine my behaviour when it went to 50 degrees in the night. I made sure I was inside and had NO intentions of moving, though we made plans a few times to head out...lol. It never happened. DC/Maryland in Fall is the most beautiful thing, and though Florida has its own bush nothing looks like this.
It was quite a refreshing trip that got me away from my normal life for just a few days but definitely reminded me that there is more out there than where I was. And it definitely gave me some ideas for my future.
I came back from Maryland into carnival and that was pure excitement. My very good friend met me for the weekend and we had a ball. I was wishing today was a recap. Good friends, good times as usual. Nothing can beat that. I'll do a full recap of that with pics soon lol.
In the midst of all the fun fun fun, there was still the dooming issues. Sigh. There's a saying that a leopard can't change its stripes and I'm surely seeing that. People can try to do things differently or pretend to but after a while they always go back to what they do.
I don't want this to be a looong welcome back post...lol. And SO much things have happened in teh past week and few days that I have to sort them out before I can make others understand lol. But I'm back and I have some catching up to do both blogging and reading wise....
It was quite a refreshing trip that got me away from my normal life for just a few days but definitely reminded me that there is more out there than where I was. And it definitely gave me some ideas for my future.I came back from Maryland into carnival and that was pure excitement. My very good friend met me for the weekend and we had a ball. I was wishing today was a recap. Good friends, good times as usual. Nothing can beat that. I'll do a full recap of that with pics soon lol.
In the midst of all the fun fun fun, there was still the dooming issues. Sigh. There's a saying that a leopard can't change its stripes and I'm surely seeing that. People can try to do things differently or pretend to but after a while they always go back to what they do.
I don't want this to be a looong welcome back post...lol. And SO much things have happened in teh past week and few days that I have to sort them out before I can make others understand lol. But I'm back and I have some catching up to do both blogging and reading wise....
Jeez it's been a while hasn't it? School had been so busy for its last week. I had exams, assignments and assignments. Steups. I was so tired and excited that last week. Then I realised that they shortened our time off to one week steups. But I still had master plans in the works so I was excited.
The excitement has been short lived though. Shadowed by me being sick. I've had a headache since Tuesday. Today is what? I don't have normal headaches. My head hurts, I'm nauseous. Noise, smell intensifies. No it's not a migraine. Been there done that. My migraines disappear after a day of heavy medication and sleep. These other headaches, takes DAYS to go. I can't eat because nothing stays down. I wasted a whole meal of Olive Garden yesterday watching it swirl down the toilet after my date with the bowl. AGAIN!! I'm hungry and I can't eat. I've taken 3 days straight of pain killers which has started to affect my stomach. I've had 6 bottles of ginger ale, a box of ginger tea and 100 prayers for God to take my head but leave my brains. I'm heading on a little vacation and all the excitement is overshadowed by the fact that this nagging headache is STILL here and NOT easing up. I can't take anymore medication. I will be overdosing so I just have to sit here and continue through day four and hope that this eases up and try to enjoy things as much as I can.
And I am leaving everything behind. This trip is to be a refresh me time. No phone, no lappy (dies). So have a good weekend folks, and a good next week. I come back in full flow of things when i return. School starts back and Miami carnival. Yea me!! I pray that this headache goes with a change of location. With my luck I'll be back headless!!
About Me
- Drunk or Sober Mind yuh Bizness
- Florida, United States
- Social misfit who just loves eating!!
My Blog List
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Love this song!5 years ago
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Voice - Smile - Dais We6 years ago
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And then...10 years ago
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