Another of my songs on rotation  

Posted by Drunk or Sober Mind yuh Bizness in ,

Do the dam thing Keyshia.

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Attribute 1: Caring  

Posted by Drunk or Sober Mind yuh Bizness in

It's nice to see couples who you know genuinely care about each other. It's refreshing. Where you can tell that they both take care of each other. They think of each other with every thing that's being done. Aww.

That's what relationships are about. When the underlying factor is that you care about someone regardless of the differences and make that care the most important factor. Each party looks out for the other even with the most basic of things. Some people think that once they provide "physical" needs, monetary when needs be they're doing the part of being a Significant Other. They seem to not know that the little things add up soo much. That it shows that with every step taken you're there on my mind.

And this is not just about relationships of boyfriends/girlfriends. All relationships need to have this kind of attribute. My mom and I fall into this. I think being caring was something she instilled in me from the get go. If I'm doing something I have to make sure that most people that I care about are included. I really go out of my way to include in whatever way and make people know that I think about them. It's a trait she insisted on. You going to the kitchen you ask everyone if they want something. Early up it annoyed me but then I learn that it creates a love and a dependency. A bond of duty, caring, love that makes you and the other people know that you do care. That you care enough to include them. Plus it's just plain manners.

But sometimes I think I care too much!!! And I'm sometimes surprised that this isn't a rule that was taught to everyone. It is one of the things I hope to instill into my kids though. That they have to look out for the people they love in ALL ways possible. In big situations and small ones.

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I Introduce you to Chinyere!!!  

Posted by Drunk or Sober Mind yuh Bizness in ,

You will remember that my dear old Sheba was Almost close to Death. I loved her dearly but was surely coming of age and giving me a run for my money which can be quite frustrating when you have a website to maintain and spend 90% of your time on the internet.

Well I have officially put Sheba on disability leave. It hurts but I think it's what's best for her at the moment. She has been there for me through some rough times. Have battled many down times but always came through for me in the long run. I think it was best that I give her time to enjoy at a slower pace her last moments.

As such, I have brought in a newer, younger and fresher replacement, no fill in, for her. Meet Chinyere (Shin-yair-ree). My new Toshiba tx1410 tablet. Ahhhh. This beautiful 12 inch system is amazing. (so Far). It has 2 gb of RAM and an expandable memory of 4gb. The usual DVD burner, video card, sd reader, media card slot, infrared and usbs. IT is also equipped with bluetooth, finger print reader and webcam. Nice. What makes this laptop a HOT one is its tablet feature that allows you to swivel the head and turn the "monitor" into a writing desktop. Additional items include a remote control and of course the stylus that can be used in tablet form (it can also recognize your fingernail.)




So I'm ready to enter into new frontiers and move at faster paces. I love you Sheba but all good things must come to an end!!

Any bets on how long before I'm bored of this thing? Lmao!!



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Words of Wisdon  

Posted by Drunk or Sober Mind yuh Bizness in ,

Friday March 29th 2008

Good morning.

Maturity begins to grow when you can sense your concern for others outweighing your concern for yourself. -John MacNaughton

God is Love
Rev Run

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Cry No More!!  

Posted by Drunk or Sober Mind yuh Bizness in ,

Don't cry, don't cry
Oh no, oh no

I never want to see you crying over me
You know that's not the way that it's supposed to be
Oh no, no no no no
You got to be strong
Never want to see you crying over me
You know that's not the way that it's supposed to be
Oh no, no no no no
You gotta be strong, oh my love

I know I've hurt you more than once
Treating your love like I don't response
Time in deed, caught up on me
Trapped in your tears
Please set me free I plea
Maybe I took this life for granted
Making you feel like you're not wanted
Ego got the best of me
Chasing every beautiful woman I see
In the end what's my reward
I brought unhappiness in a mi yard, oh Lord

I never want to see you crying over me
You know that's not the way that it's supposed to be
Oh no, no no no no
No no no no no no no
I never want to see you crying over me
You know that's not the way that it's supposed to be
Oh no, no no no no
Dry your weeping eyes, oh my love

And this may sound just like a drama
Inside me there's constant fire
Burning my soul, saying oh what a liar
You've hurt me, so much time hurt her no longer
But I am really a true believer in love
Trying my best to make it work
Show me a man who doesn't cheat
Nor flirt in this world
Boys will be attracted to girls

I never want to see you crying over me
You know that's not the way that it's supposed to be
Oh no, no no no no
Got to be strong
I never want to see you crying over me
You know that's not the way that it's supposed to be
Oh no, no no no no
No no no no no no no

I know that I've hurt you more than once
Treating your love like I don't response
Time in deed, caught up on me
Trapped in your tears
Please set me free I plea
Maybe I took this love for granted
Making you feel like you're not wanted
Ego got the best of me
Chasing every beautiful woman I see
In the end what's my reward
I brought unhappiness in a mi yard, oh Lord

I never want to see you crying over me
You know that's not the way that it's supposed to be
Oh no, no no no no
Wipe your eyes
I never want to see you crying over me
You know that's not the way that it's supposed to be
Oh no, no no no no
You got to be strong

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Just when I thought ...  

Posted by Drunk or Sober Mind yuh Bizness in

things were going good for the weekend. Just when I let my guard down and started to relax!! I HATE THIS!!! I HATE THIS!! After all this hard work I have to start over!! Sigh!!

I just cant seem to be saying the right prayers. Either that or someone is praying hard against me!!

I DON'T Deserve this!!!

Sigh. 4.05 am Saturday March 29th 2008

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Steups  

Posted by Drunk or Sober Mind yuh Bizness in

All I ask for yunno is a little respect. To be treated like I am somebody who you respect and who has some kinda feelings. I would really like people to think about what they do to me and if they would have liked me to do them the same thing. But no! I never get that. I ALWAYS think about how other people would feel with my actions and try my hardest not to leave them out on a limb. But I keep getting disrespected! And keep getting!! And yunno what... IT HURTS!!!

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I need a DRINK!!!  

Posted by Drunk or Sober Mind yuh Bizness in ,

Thank God It's Friday!! What a week! What a week! This has trully been a week of trials. I always pride myself of thinking ahead and planning things out at well as I could as far back and as far forward trying to take into consideration all the possible things that can happen. Well, that wasn't to be this week. This week was tough. Between my three assignments for one class, another four hour class with another set of assignments, trying to get my laptop and paying school fees I AM TIRED!! Unit trust is the worse. Steups... if they had a proper system I probably wouldn't be soo stressed. But it's over. Things have been cleared up and looking to go into another week.

It's Friday though and I'm home, alone. The alone part isn't the problem. I'm home alone majority of the time. I'm quite the loner if I say so myself. It's the Friday part that's bothering me. I wouldnt even mind just going to a lounge and hang out.. but me and? My sister went to NY for Machel @ MSG. Due to me being the adult and paying for myself to go to school "free" money is few and far between. So I sit here giving her a middle finger just thinking about her Jamishness behaviour...(or bout my Jamishness if I was there) Sigh!.

So I sit and chat with Nessa and drink some wine and in a little while do the usual, head to bed and with God's will wake to see tomorrow. Saturday!! I'm excited about tomorrow cause I get a new love of my life hopefully tomorrow, to keep me company too.

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Karma  

Posted by Drunk or Sober Mind yuh Bizness in

"Countless rebirths lie ahead, both good and bad. The effects of karma (actions) are inevitable, and in previous lifetimes we have accumulated negative karma which will inevitably have its fruition in this or future lives. Just as someone witnessed by police in a criminal act will eventually be caught and punished, so we too must face the consequences of faulty actions we have committed in the past, there is no way to be at ease; those actions are irreversible; we must eventually undergo their effects."
His Holiness the Dalai Lama, from 'Kindness, Clarity and Insight'

I whole heartedly believe in the concept of Karma. The actions, good or bad, that you do previously will come back to reward or haunt you later. Some people seem to not beleive in it though and so think that continuously treating people like crap is not going to have any effect on them at any time. But it's going to come get you. And it will get you good. I hope I'm around for this though, not that I'm wishing bad on anyone, but some times some people need to feel the pain others went through to learn. Karma (is that really revenge/justice?) i think can come back in any form, at any time. You never know what you did to someone may happen to you in the long run. How you've treated someone may come back ten fold when you're at your weakest point. Careful!!!

These days I wish I could bestow my own Karma but that's not how it works. It sucks that you have been so good to some people and they quickly forget that and treat you like crap. Sometimes you want to forget that "do unto others " talk and take actions into your own hands, but then there's karma. And you know eventually that they going to get their portion at some point, so you just carry on with how you think it's best for you and wait patiently for the consequences of faulty actions.

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Sooo  

Posted by Drunk or Sober Mind yuh Bizness in ,

It's been how many days since I've been on here?? I can't even remember but things have looked up. Well for the most part. I am SWAMPED with work for school. My first class is on Thursday but yet I already have 3 assignments to turn in by midnight on Sunday and will continue to have 3 assignments a week to turn in. Lord help me!! But I'm excited and hope to get full support aka help with my assignments from my loving friends.

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I missed this Yesterday but better later than never!!  

Posted by Drunk or Sober Mind yuh Bizness in ,

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Good morning. I've got good news!! You can choose to be happy today!!!! You can choose to walk in peace today... You can choose to be undisturbed by any circumstance today!! A wise man once said... “You can't control every situation, but you can control how you respond to every situation.” Have a happy day!! The choice is yours...

God is Love
Rev Run

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Before I go...lol  

Posted by Drunk or Sober Mind yuh Bizness in , ,

Funny I heard this song yesterday and loved it. My song for Yesterday.



Imma list it under funnies cause what's Love anyway?

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See ya Later!!!  

Posted by Drunk or Sober Mind yuh Bizness in ,

Today is the first day of the rest of your life! That phrase always cracks me up at orientations. But today, I think it is so true. Life eh. Really throws you curve balls. And this one was C U R V E D! Atleast school doesnt start this week and I have a few days to put things into perspective and get ready for something I really want to do.

I'm going into hibernation for a bit for a few days. Heading into my cocoon. And soon the new Penze would emerge. Stronger and ready to fight again head on.

Have a good day folks!!

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Bringing Me back.  

Posted by Drunk or Sober Mind yuh Bizness in

Yunno, people always try to push you into a dark place. I think it makes them feel better abotu themselves. They try to force you into a box and close the box and it's just BLACK. It's not a place you want to go to but sometimes, sometimes you end up there and NEED to come out.

What brings me out? Yummmmm. Ice cream. My gosh. That thing takes me to another world. A world where I am fine being who I am and it bothers no one. It takes me to a happy place. Lawd it start to sound like a drug eh? A smile comes on my face that says "I have conquered". My hearts forgets all the bad things I wish on the people who make me feel bad. My emotion only knows Happiness.

I hate sweet ice creams. Flavourite is one. They need to be closed down. I am a huge lover of Ben and Jerry's. I loooove their Pistachio Pistachio. Lick! I love ice cream cones. Lick!! Slurrrp. I hate sharing my ice cream too. When I was younger I used to mark my ice cream. Open the pint and lick the top in a full circle. Nobody else wanted. Lmao. Now, they don't even bother to see if I still do that.

I learn't about ColdStone Creamery from a friend of mine and I have had them. Slurrrp. Another good one but not readily available in the supermarket.

So I'm here slurping down some ice cream and watching tv!! The best medicine!

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Missing...  

Posted by Drunk or Sober Mind yuh Bizness in

Who would have thought after the excitement I had to leave that I would be missing "Tobago" sooooo much? It hurts. "Tobago" and I have had this weird relationship for years. YEARS!! I'm there and always want to be out, I'm out and want to be there.

Years before I just didn't want to be there. Things weren't going they way I wanted it to be. It was hard for me to fit in. I felt like an outsider. "Tobago" was doing Tobago and had no time for Penze. It was hard. In the last few months though, it seems that after all these years "Tobago" and I finally started to get along as I'm ready to leave. So it's hard being out here now and wondering if "Tobago" does miss me as much as I do miss it. It wasn't until leaving time too that I realized that I really had a group of people in my life that loved me and appreciated me. Sigh...

I miss "Tobago".

I miss my kids too. Another funny thing. Every morning I would be cussing that I don't want to go to work. I mean, I spent most of the day cussing in my mind, cussing at the top of my voice, telling kids to stand, telling kids to get out, sticking gums on foreheads, taking aways earrings, poking kids, tapping kids, having kids brig me lunch, telling kids not to cuss, cussing kids not to cuss, showing kids how to use Hi5, tellings kids to stop looking at my HI5. And after all of that having to teach over 400 kids in one week. I miss my kids.

A good few months back is someone had told me that I would not be happy in my new move and missing home I would have laughed at them. But now, sigh, I miss "Tobago". I miss my kids. I miss home.

I Love "Tobago".

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Companion Needed!!  

Posted by Drunk or Sober Mind yuh Bizness in

I think I need to get a pet something. I am going to be spending 85% of my time by myself probably for the next year. So I will need something to keep me company. Something that will show me some affection back.

A dog was the first thing that came to mind. The thing is there's carpet here and it will be too much stress to train a dog to not mess up. I thought about a snake but, I may be too paranoid to want ot deal with a snake on a regular. Plus I don't think that snakes react to people as much as a dog will. No to turtles. Had those before and I killed them. lol. So I'm leaning towards a fish. I'll start with a little gold fish and see how long that lasts me. So tomorrow I'll head out to the pet store and look around.


What you suggest?!!

EDIT: What the hell. Allyuh see the price of a fish? The zebra fish starts at $150!!! Petco has to be crazy. Wait you see the price of an aquarium? And then I need a pump and food and.... nah. The price I have to pay for companionship. I hope I doh kill it. Lmao. No sister I am not getting tadpoles....ewww

EDIT 2: My friend suggested a hamster. But then I remembered they take dumps. Eww. A parrot? But then when it learn to "steups" what going to happen?

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Random Convo with Jamaican in Supermarket  

Posted by Drunk or Sober Mind yuh Bizness in ,

I think my sister and I are blighted in some way. Lol. I mean we seem to attract the weirdest people, at the weirdest places, at the weirdest times. Here I was minding my own business in the grocery store. I stopped precariously in the aisle with my cart not really pushed to the side. No one else was in the aisle, so I ruled it. While I am there trying to decide which macaroni to take up, I see coming round the bend a cart, and two Jamaican men attached to the end in conversation. How do I know they are? Instincts. Being that I am soooo full of manners I move my cart to the side and step back. Ah, the cart continues in my direction. I step futher back. I can fell my bum touching the pasta sauce. The cart CONTINUES in my direction. Bram!!! I'm hit by cart!!

Me: Wuh de arse! You ent seeing or wuh?

Man: *smile*

Me: *skin up face* Ent you have to be blasted crazy? I make space for yuh to pass and I still get hit.

Man: Oh gosh I wanted the cart to hit yuh!

Me: You ent serious nah. *Friend watching me to see if I'm going to take the pasta sauce and buss he face*

Man: And yuh trini? Buss a soca wine for me nah!!

Me: What?

Man: Buss a wine for me!

Me: *Laughter* You have to be BLASTED mad.

Man: Oh rass. Yuh hair pretty! Yuh have a ring? Girls does lie. Use ring to run off men yunno. Leh me see you lie ring.

By this time I am highly amused. His friend seems more relaxed, no longer worried that I am going to attack. Mr slim pants, tight black shirt and white shoes proceeds to write his number on a paper and slips it into my hand.

Man: If you don't call it will be your loss!!

Me: *Silence* (Something rare)

*Dumps paper in cart. I can't deal with anymore Jamaicans in my life nah!!*

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Yaaaayyyy!!  

Posted by Drunk or Sober Mind yuh Bizness in ,

My sister just made my day!! yayayyyy!! Gifts always do that lol. I got a birthday present today!! Had a kinda rough day with this cold and other stuff so was great her pulling out a bag and saying here's your birthday present. *dance*

A bag of my favourite hair products. A BAG!! Niiice!!! I'm all ready now to just try a little of everything and rub it in my hair.



She also got me back a pair of bamboo earrings that I had previously. Yea more earrings mommy.


And tomorrow the celebration continues!!

Thanks sis!!

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Maury  

Posted by Drunk or Sober Mind yuh Bizness in

I need to not watch this show so much. It really makes you bitter. Lol. Men can be such punks. It amazes me that they think saying "I love you" is a fix all. How can someone profess LOVE for someone but yet have sex with another person? Or even worse have sex with another person who is your Love's best friend? Oh Please!! Excuses range from "we didn't have sex in the house", "you work too much", "she was there", "I was drunk". Lol. Excuses turn into reasons.
I always say that majority of these things are staged but jeez why 80% of them are men doing shit? But why do they have to go on television to air their dirty laundry? The thrill? The saftey? The money? ( I suppose they get an appearance fee)
What cracks me up is that the offender always loves and has a reason for doing their crap. And Maury always can "clear it up in 48 hours" Lmao. Cheaters are punks.
I applaud the men though that stand up and be the daddy even though after 2 years they now finding out that they might not be. (well atleast they stand up on tv, dunno how long it lasts after the cameras are off). Maury probably gets a discount on doing paternity tests.
Oh Oh.... commercial ova....

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Contributions Needed!!  

Posted by Drunk or Sober Mind yuh Bizness in ,

I need a shopping spree. I think every woman says that! Lol. But I really do need to change out what I have. I've put on a little weight so things are fitted... lol aka TIGHT! Almost everything I put on my mom asks "That's your little sisters?"Uhm.. unless she had another child while I was at work, I am the last.
I don't even want a $1000 shopping spree. Give me half of that and I'm good. I can change out some pants, some shoes, some shirts. No well if you want to give me that $1000 I won't mind. Lol.
But I'm ready for a new look. I'm getting older.
So if you're ready to contribute to the "Penze Needs a New Look" fund, leave a mesage and yuh bank account number.

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Fight, Fight, Fight!!!!  

Posted by Drunk or Sober Mind yuh Bizness in

"Fight one more round. When your arms are so tired that you can hardly lift your hands to come on guard, fight one more round. When your nose is bleeding and your eyes are black and you are so tired that you wish your opponent would crack you one on the jaw and put you to sleep, fight one more round – remembering that the man who always fights one more round is never whipped."

Saw this quote above the other day and it kinda fell in good with me for the time. Actually I was trying to remember the code the use for "officer down". Steups... anyway.

Is wuh really going on with me? I know life throws you punches but my gosh, like it has Mothers Lashmi hands the size of King Kong. I'm getting hit left, right and centre.

I'm getting to teh point where soon I don't think I can get up or fight back. My body aches. (or is that the flu I have?) The punches coming too fast. I am ready to play dead.

I have to have a concussion by now. I think all emotion has been beaten out of me too.

Emotionless soon motionless.

10-00

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What privileges do you have?  

Posted by Drunk or Sober Mind yuh Bizness in

Took this from Trinigirlblue.

This meme is from "What Privileges Do You Have?", based on an exercise about class and privilege developed by Will Barratt, Meagan Cahill,Angie Carlen, Minnette Huck, Drew Lurker, Stacy Ploskonka at Illinois Indiana State University. If you participate in this blog game, they ask that you PLEASE acknowledge their copyright.

Bold all things that apply to you.


Father went to college
Father finished college
Mother went to college
Mother finished college
Have any relative who is an attorney, physician, or professor
Were the same or higher class than your high school teachers.
Had more than 50 books in your childhood home.
Had more than 500 books in your childhood home.
Were read children's books by a parent.
Had more than two kinds of lessons before you turned 18
The people in the media who dress and talk like me are portrayed positively.
Had a credit card with your name on it before you turned 18.
Your parents (or a trust) paid for the majority of your college costs.
Your parents (or a trust) paid for all of your college costs
Went to a private high school
Went to summer camp
Had a private tutor before you turned 18
Family vacations involved staying at hotels...
Your clothing was all bought new before you turned 18
Your parents bought you a car that was not a hand-me-down from them.
There was original art in your house when you were a child...
You and your family lived in a single-family house
Your parent(s) owned their own house or apartment before you left home
You had your own room as a child
You had a phone in your room before you turned 18
Participated in a SAT/ACT prep course
Had your own TV in your room in high school...
Owned a mutual fund or IRA in high school or college
Flew anywhere on a commercial airline before you turned 16
Went on a cruise with your family.
Went on more than one cruise with your family
Your parents took you to museums and art galleries as you grew up. (poetry readings, book launchings, cathedrals and other places of interest
You were unaware of how much heating bills were for your family.

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Dreams...  

Posted by Drunk or Sober Mind yuh Bizness in

So my dream came through. No not the one with the guy and the ice cream. Hmmm. The one with immigration. Well it kinda came true.

I decided to dress like a casual traveler. (Well so I thought. My friend now telling me I looked like a real congo bongo. I dunno why he didn't tell me that before I left. Steups). Jeans, kitten heels, a tshirt, sweater and my hair in plaits. Cute! (Sarcasm) Everything was fine in Trinidad. Nobody pulled me out for "random" searching. I quickly went through check in, security and boarded. Joy!! (Not Sarcasm)

On arriving at Miami International the fun began. I was accosted by sniffer dogs. Good thing I didn't get that pommceythere from Lyselle. She sniffed my bag and moved on. Good. Wait. She's back. Oh lawd now they turning me back. I here bussing my brain as to what I had in there. She leaves. Sigh.

"Step out the line please"

What the hell, this really happening? Then I see a male step out. Whew. Saved by Mr. Looks like he's got heroine.

I proceed.

Immigration Officer #1 takes my documents. Looks, pauses, looks, pauses and the flicking red light comes on. Urgh! Not again (and again, and again and...) He proceeds to ask me "what usually happens?" *rolleye* I didn't even bother to answer. At this moment I'm thinking that silver goes well with my outfit. Ha! I got them!! USIS you can't mess with my style!!

Immigration Officer #2 takes my documents and proceeds to ask me a barrage of stupid questions. Is this your first time in the US? Are you going to school? How long now? Do giraffes fly? Do I look cute in... Ok Ok I lying bout the last two but after those first set of questions I totally zoned out. I was put to sit. Immigration Officer #3 informs Officer #2 that there is an update remark on my profile, so let her go. Officer #2 insists I must sit longer and decides he must do what Immigration Officers do, order donuts call the help desk to explain caps lock on vs caps lock off. WTF! Unfortunately, 20 minutes later the only silver bracelet I left with was one delicate one given to me as a birthday present.

On to customs now to give them an excuse why I have 3 chicken hams in my bag!!!

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Dreams Interpreted  

Posted by Drunk or Sober Mind yuh Bizness in

I need help. Anyone can interpret dreams. My mind has been running on overtime for the past few days. Hectic is an understatement for what the past few days have been like. Relocating from one part of the world to another is anything but an easy job. So my mind has been planning, packing, planning and hoping all while I’m awake AND asleep.

So I have been dreaming.


The first dream is that I get to immigration in Miami and they pull me in. Oh wait, that’s not really a dream, that’s what usually happens. Lol. Yes I am always pulled in by the officers. I have attempted different looks to travel to avoid being pulled in and they have all failed. The student with a backpack look, the bum look, the movie star look. The traveling with parents and all didn’t work. I get pulled in, kept sitting for at least 15 minutes (one time I was held for an hour) then sent away with a wave of hand. This time though, the dream takes me back to my plane with some not too cute silver bracelets. Signs of things to come?


The other dream I walk in on my husband with another lady. I calmly lock them in the bedroom and go cook a nice big dinner which I proceed to eat. I then open the door, with my “zagguy” in hand and calmly cut them into little pieces, pack them into a box and take them into the dumpster. Signs of things to come?


One night I’m out taking a walk down the street. I have no idea where the street is or where I’m going. I seem to be having an out of body experience because I’m watching myself walk. Suddenly something falls from the sky. It’s white and light. It’s snowing? No, it’s not melting. It’s sticking to my hair. It’s sticking to my skin. It only seems to be falling on me though. Nothing anywhere else is white. Fast forward. I look in the mirror and I have no hair. I’m bald. What the hell!!! Signs of things to come?


There’s another dream with a handsome man, a car and some ice cream but I can’t seem to remember all the details. Signs of things to come?


Am I going crazy??!!

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Happy Unhappy Birthday!!  

Posted by Drunk or Sober Mind yuh Bizness in ,

From running on a high to being kicked down the hill.

Convo person: I didn't forget. Happy Birthday
Me: Thanks
Convo person: What did you get?
Me: Some jewelry and stuff.
Convo person: Yea. What kind? Wooden.
Me: Yea and others.
Convo person: Ok.
*silence*

Convo person: Well later. Bye!
Me: Bye!



I'll give a prize to anyone who can figure out the relationship that me and convo person has.

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Happy Birthday to ME!!!  

Posted by Drunk or Sober Mind yuh Bizness in


Yeaaaa. It's my birthday. And I'm quite amped about it lol. I have nothing special planned but to have a good day. Text and calls started coming in since 12 am from the same people who left my house at 11.45 pm with my party. Lmao. And they still coming in.

I'm 29 years old and happy today. I rang in the new year with friends and family who cherish me. It was a good start. It's nice to feel loved. I plan to take this whole weekend and make it MY BIRTHDAY!!! Wish me luck!!

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Mission "Get Penze!!"  

Posted by Drunk or Sober Mind yuh Bizness in ,

So it's the day before my birthday and my mom, my cousin and I had plans to go to Cafe Iguana and have some wings and cocktails. Yunno I was happy. Plus I got home this evening and as I got in the door I saw a cake box. Niiice! Pineapple upside down. My mom says it's an early birthday cake. I got dressed all cute. It's Friday and it's the day before my birthday hello!!!. We set out to town to wait for my cousin who is coming in on the boat and is keeping me back from getting my eat on. My mom seems pretty busy though, only on the phone. We sit in the car and I have fun with my camera as usual.




Then after about a 20 minute wait my cousin comes off the boat. Uhm, she ent dressed. Still in her work clothes. Sigh!! So the best idea would be to go to Signal Hill, where she lives, which is on the way down to the place and let her change and leave her bags one time. She insists for the life of me, that she want to come by me to change. Steups. How that make sense? Anyway, we end up home. They come out, I sit in the car fixing my shoes. They stand waiting on me. I'm like why these two doh hurry and go they dunno I hungry? We get upstairs and my mother sends me to put on some lights in the den. FOR WHAT? We just came to change. Mind you all this time I am verbally protesting loudly about putting on the lights. She asks nicely again. So I head over.

Wuh de...!! As I reach for the light switch I hear a LOUD noise. I swear to you I got almost to my room, about 10 metres away in less than a second. My first thought, someone in the house secure my things. Lmao. But in the process of getting to my room I realise that wait, I know these faces. Lmao. I turn around and see the faces of my friends and co workers and aunts and cousins. I've been had!! Lol. It takes me about five minutes to calm down before I start the " I doh believe you didn't tell me" with my friends. My best friend who had to go to Trinidad and couldn't see me before I leave on Wednesday suddenly got a flight up. My co-workers, one whom I travel to school with everyday, and who was hanging with me in school today were there. My aunt who was suddenly tired this evening was there. My other aunt who had to come from Trinidad for "business" was there. My friend who was so upset and bored at someplace and was heading "home" was there. My other good friend who I usually talk to about 10 times a day and I didn't hear from her at all today was there. My home girl from High School who I usually talk to online and whose daughter's birthday is on the 7th was there. She had been avoiding me like the plague all week. Lmao. They got me. And I'm pissed.

To tell you the truth. A few months back I told my best friend he better have a surprise party for me when I'm leaving and for my birthday. But he NEVER listens to anything I say so I didn't even look back. I did think of it today though, but I was like nah. I ent get no positive feelings about a "plan". When I do hear the shout though, Plan Get Penze, was in effect for almost two weeks now.

They got me!! And Imma seek my revenge later. Lol. But it was great. People in my life who I truly love and I know have my back. People who have affected me in the past few years and years beyond. Who have stood with me in good times and bad times. Thanks guys. For everything. For last night. For just being good friends. And I guess for being able to keep a secret. I know some of you all had some serious problems. Oh and thanks for the gifts!!


I can't believe my sister knew. My friend in Canada knew. Guys you all on the "GET" list too in case you weren't sure.

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Shhhhhh!!  

Posted by Drunk or Sober Mind yuh Bizness in

It's coming!!! Yeah!! It's coming!!!!

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The Art of Forgiveness & Forgetting  

Posted by Drunk or Sober Mind yuh Bizness in

"Forgiveness is the mental, and/or spiritual process of ceasing to feel resentment, indignation or anger against another person for a perceived offense, difference or mistake, or ceasing to demand punishment or restitution."

Are you a forgiver? Do you forgive easily and move on, never bringing back what had happened before? Can you Forget?

I'm not. Well not 100%. I think I can forgive but I seem to have a huge problem with forgetting. Some would say though that I am not really forgiving. Forgiving is Forgetting. It has always been a problem I have struggled with. No one that has wronged me has ever asked for forgiveness, but I think over time you are suppose to forget. Alexander Pope said "To err is to human, to forgive, Divine". I seem to be missing out on Divinity.

What does not forgiving do for me? Nothing really. It makes one feel better holding on to the hurt? I read somewhere that forgiveness is an act of imagination. It dares you to imagine a better future; one that is based on the blessed possibility that your hurt will not be the final word on the matter. It challenges you to give up your destructive thoughts about the situation and to believe in the possibility of a better future. It builds confidence that you can survive the pain and grow from it. I seem to not be imaginative

Forgiving is a choice though. I do not have to forgive AND there are consequences. If I choose not to forgive but to hold on to my anger, resentment and sense of betrayal I choose to make my own life miserable don't I?

Are we misconceived to think that if we forgive an offense, like an affair or a rape, that we are condoning it? Are we to forgive things that we know are wrong? Does that mean once we forgive there has to be reconciliation? Does the wrong doer have to apologize before we forgive? Do they have to change their ways? Is another persons poor behaviour the primary determinant for ones healing. That means that that unkind and selfish person is going to have the upper hand. They say that forgiveness is the experience of finding peace inside and can neither be compelled nor stopped by another. Am I going to be searching for peace forever?

But I don't think healthy relationships are possible without forgiveness. If I continue to hold on to things that may happen in my relationships they may not be as rewarding as they could be. But am I ready to cut people slack who hurt me? I dunno. But right now I guess I'm going to stay unable to forgive cause I surely cannot forget.

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CSI: Penze  

Posted by Drunk or Sober Mind yuh Bizness in ,

Arbitrary person: So what you going to study!
Me: Computer Forensics
Arbitrary person: Yea? So you going to be on CSI then?
Me: WHAT?!!

That has been the conversations I have been having all week.

That thing shows too much here and too many people watch it. Lol. Once someone hears about forensics that's the first thing that comes to mind though. CSI. So when people ask me what I'm going away to study and I tell them computer forensics their first response is either "Oh so you going to end up on CSI?" or "They use computers to dissect people?" My gosh. The first few times I was in shock, now I just smile and say that I'm not going to school to be an actress. Lmao!!

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Amen Sister!!  

Posted by Drunk or Sober Mind yuh Bizness in

I don't know if I ever mentioned I had a sister. Yup. Four years older four feet shorter. But we're pretty much the same. Well she won't ever do the dreads thing, she's much more of a diva.

Anyway, I have a sister.

She has a blog.

And this... is her post.

Why Men SHould Not Date Smart Chicks!!

[Sisters please be aware that the word BITCH in this post is used as a term of endearment]

The Man woman dynamic will always be one to create drama...
it is the base element of the thing..
the conquering of passion over nature over ethics...K


Any adult worth their salt KNOWS THIS...
I know its been said that a Man is as faithful as his options...
I'm not trying to start a man war...lol

That's not the purpose of this post...

What I am saying....is


Men

Pay attention to the intelligence of your woman..

And brace yourself for the consequences..Every Action has a Reaction...Every Choice a Circumstance

This sister is giving you some survival tips...

so Listen...


When you date a DUMB CHICK...
You can have a certain amount of freedom...
DUMB CHICKS usually compensate for the lacking brain capacity with obvious Physical Attributes…so they sometimes stand out ….


But with DUMB CHICKS
You can make up convoluted excuses about why you were not where you said you would be...
About why you cheated...cause you know...its was HER fault..
You can justify cheating...
And you can argue with her
And just scream...
Obscenities and BASE in your voice to intimidate her and have her second guess her own Ideas..
You can confuddle her brain with intricate complicated avenues as to why she's wrong…
And say phrases like
“Baby I Love you...”
“And it didn’t mean a thing...” and
“You’re my woman. She’s just a friend”
And
“Yeah I know she wants me. But i only want you” and
“Baby....yeah I go to the strip club...and to the parties...and flirt.
But I’m coming home to you..”


If you have the constitution for it ...go right ahead.....
The physical aspects are usually quite astounding..


but


This might cause you some moments of frustration...
She might not understand that complex game that your watching…
“What baby? This is Basketball...no they’re not gonna break the pole. There supposed to do that”
and
You won’t have to discuss politics...
Or foreign policy
And you just give her something shiny – Foil - or a new dress ...
And you can get some sleep...
And life can go on.
You might actually love her.
In a dumb mutt pet dog kinda way.
She stupid...but she's my stupid...and she looks like a porn star so I’m happy.


My warning is this....


Things are not so easy with a SMART CHICK
See the reason you choose her...
Is because she is Smart.
The Reason you’re so attracted to her in the first place..
Is that outside of the pure Physical..
Bitch got into your head....


That Mind sex...
The kind where she just said a sentence to you that conjured up a image in your head
That had nothing to do with friekin Gas prices..
even though that's what came out of her mouth.
You want her to say “Mortgage Rates and “Plethora” and “Itinerary,” because nothing has sounded more sexy to you in your entire life


And now you’re all nervous...
Cause BOTH brains have to work..
You can’t slump into that safe spot where you just use the word baby every three sentences, the unbutton the top buttons on the shirt,
And buy her the drink special at the bar..
cause


ONE.


Bitch bought her own damn drink. and you never even heard the name of the drink that she sipping on. Just the look of it in the glass make you wanna ask her… “Can I have some?” .So you’re wondering how in the hell I never heard of this drink before?? What stone I’ve been living under??


and


TWO


you called her BABY once...and her left eye brow arched....and that arched eyebrow made your left nut shrink....you felt it...shriveling...the higher the arch...the tighter the squeeze...so you make sure you REMEMBER HER NAME...cause you’re afraid of what the other eyebrow will do to your anatomy


So now ...


You’re hanging out..
and your chest ispuffing up cause your boys seeing you out with this chick who they know is of a certain caliber..
And for some reason she's giving you the time of the day.


She sees your hidden potential...and has decided that she will let her guard down...and allow you to know her..


Initially you accept this honor with gratitude and reverence...


And you enter...the "LOVE ZONE"


Which eventually turns into the


"SHE ALRIGHT" zone


‘Cause your boys talking about the hot PET DOG DUMB chicks that they’re seeing at the club..


And suddenly, to you, SMART CHICK seems to lose some points on DUMB CHICK.
Because DUMB CHICK is quicker to drag on a thong and feed the other brain..
Cause SMART CHICK just got off work as CEO somewhere,
Went to her classes for her Masters after work,
Came home, cleaned the house, fixed dinner, washed herself off
Gave you a blow job, put you and maybe the kids to bed,
And then stayed up working on that project for an hour before she got up again at 5 to dress the kids and send them and you off into the world with a smile


And because SMART CHICK has fallen into a routine with you..
A Safe, orderly, stress free life.
You start to think that she has become HOME CHICK!!


This, my friend


Is your fatal error.


SMART CHICK IS FOREVER SMART CHICK!
It’s a genetic code, hardwired into her psyche


SMART CHICK always KNEW what you were capable of...
SMART CHICK knows the inner workings of your mind because she has that sensibility.
SMART CHICK has been around the block a few times and knows what a REAL relationship and a MAN in particular will begin to do
SMART CHICK can think around your excuse that you have stupidly given her
And CAN extract the truth...


She is aware that the best way to confound someone is to wrap the lies with TRUTH..
And can decipher one from the other.
Do not believe that you have pulled a fast one on SMART CHICK
In fact allowing you to believe that your ruse has worked is one of the tried and true tactics of SMART CHICK
Because then YOU get complacent.
You stop trying to back up your un-truths,
Giving her ammunition to unravel the ENTIRE story…
Her silence is not acceptance.
It Is STRATEGY


Do NOT give Smart chick justifiable reason to act on anything.
And your assumption that she has accepted your GARBAGE makes her Angry.
Angry SMART CHICK is dangerous.
ANGRY SMART CHICK does not break windows or smash cars...
DUMB CHICK will do that
You can buy DUMB CHICK a pair of shoes and purse after
And take her to dinner and she will be all right, and forgive you
Because “HE was sorry and made it up to me, cause he can’t stand to see me upset.”


You can do the same to SMART CHICK.
And she will smile and be happy with you...
All the while plotting her revenge


You should be DEATHLY afraid of angry SMART CHICK...
Because everything that you have done to her....
She is capable of doing to you...
She will do it with MORE finesse and decorum than you.
Because she knows that society will Judge her actions more than yours.
You may pray to NOT find out what SMART chick has done in retaliation.

Because remember that eyebrow move when you were dating???


THAT my friend was the tip of the ice berg


When you CHOOSE smart...retaliation is SMART.
And usually a longer lasting experience...
One that may not just involve the wrecking of physical objects...
They prefer to damage long lasting, Precious things like:


Self Esteem


Pride


Careers


Finances.


yeah...so uhm watch out


CHOOSE WISELY!!

*Applause and Raises Eyebrow*

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How to Avoid Conflict!!  

Posted by Drunk or Sober Mind yuh Bizness in

Tuesday, March 4, 2008

Good morning.


If you want to keep the peace in your environment remember this.... PEACE BEGINS WITH YOU.... The scripture says.. A soft answer turns away wrath. (Remember!) When you're smiling the whole world smiles at you.


God is Love
Rev Run

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Oh my God!  

Posted by Drunk or Sober Mind yuh Bizness in ,

I want to scream!! I want to scream!! Lmao. Life is a bitch ain't it. Ha! The thing is it's not even funny.

There's a saying how you make your bed you lay on it. Dumbest shit I've ever heard because I've always made a nice bed, fluffy, pillows in place, matching sheets, but what do I get when it's time for me to lay down? A bed full of pissing pins!! I tell you. Life ent nothing but a bitch!!

Grimy!

What's my mantra? 2008 will be Great!! And GREAT it has been!!

Head on!!

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My New Song!!!  

Posted by Drunk or Sober Mind yuh Bizness in ,

Saw this song today... and I just loved it. I have no idea why. Jordin Sparks and Chris Brown No Air.



This isn't the official video though!!

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*Take a Breath*  

Posted by Drunk or Sober Mind yuh Bizness in

I do not think there are enough hours in the day. Actually I think we need to have less hours in the weekdays and more hours in the weekends. Where did this weekend go? Before I knew it it was Sunday and I was making sure that my work clothes were in order. Steups.

This weekend was nice though. Well for the most part. It was really revealing and has probably made me see my life from different angles. And has probably changed its path a bit. But I guess we'll wait to see.

I saw two friends from college on Saturday night as they came to Tobago for a night. It was nice. They got me out of bed and out somewhere. Lol. It's funny that everybody sees me and asks me the same question, "You still live here?". Ah yes, I just don't go to every jam session there is. Why the heck must I pay $60 to go stand outside? Another reason I stay home. But it was a nice time with friends. Sometimes it's nice to be out.

Sunday I was down with the dam cold. I dunno, but it seems like every weekend i get the flu. Crazy isn't it. So I spent the day lethargic and trying to pack and trying to get ready for work and trying to put my brain in order.

So all in all the weekend was good. Headed out to work today knowing that I have so much time to put things in order before I leave this place.

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