I am seeing too many unhappy people around me. Me included. Yes, I have life, I'm doing great in school, have a few good friends, loving family and heading in the direction I want but I'm in a funk. And I can't seem to get out of it. And I cannot figure out for the life of me how I came to such a junction. I have been good to everyone around me. I have given some people 150%, been hurt and turned around and given these same people 140%. I have been supportive, true, honest, sympathetic, loving, HONEST. I have not been bad, intentionally, to anyone. People have hurt me and I have looked past it. Not been mean or violent. Yet seem to be in a funk and they moving like normal? And don't say "they probably blah blah". I am so not being who I am. I can't hide how I feel or pretend to be happy anymore. I hate mingling because I have to pretend to be happy for "social" reasons; nobody likes a sour party girl, but then I think because I'm home so much that I need to get out. If anybody asks me how I'm going I'm not going to say I'm good when I'm not.

I need to laugh. I need to have some good old fun. I need to feel loved and appreciated. I need my mommy. Lol. It's like I'm having an out of body experience where I have committed suicide. I'm trying to stop myself from bleeding to death but the blood is rushing too fast. *I sick eh...lol*And I'm sooo not looking for sympathy and "it will get bette soon" and I just ready to get out of this blasted place that I'm in or no dam reason. EFF!!!!

So you would realise that my weekend would not be good re: The Rebirth. I will be stuck in the house so that means weekend into week AGAIN. The one person that likes to take me out has gone to NY (dam you Cliv) and all my freinds are too far. Steups!!! Here's to a sucky weekend, AGAIN!!