I have one holding with my two hands right now. You ever felt like there's something that has two edges that may hurt you? Regardless of how you use the knife you bleed!

I'm fighting with a sword right now. One one hand you want to know something, find out if it's true, but on the other hand you're afraid to find out. The thought that it might be a good outcome is out weighted by the anxiety and the fear of it being a bad outcome. But I want to know sooo bad. I think I'm at the stage where I need to know. A bad outcome might be able to be fixed. Might? Yes? No? Yes still weighs as heavy as the No. Yes still means there is a problem even though it can be fixed.

I'm fighting with the sword. One time I'm ready to take the plunge the next time...

Life... it can be as rewarding as it can be damaging. The fight continues.